We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
