i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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