This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize