He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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