she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
