let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
