Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
