Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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