I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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