youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
