Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
