just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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