This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
