Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize