so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
