if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
