It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
