i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize