she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
A+ Viking dick
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
