life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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