fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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