Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
