wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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