god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
