We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
