What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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