You don't have asthma, your pregnant
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
