so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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