Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
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