There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
