She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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