4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
