So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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