toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize