i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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