I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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