so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Randomize
