Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
