how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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