ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize