After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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