belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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