White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
