Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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