My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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