is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
