i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize