im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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