Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
tell your sister to shave her snatch
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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