Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Randomize
