I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
