Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(469): View more from Texas

I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake

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(817): View more from Texas

The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.

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(212): View more from New York

Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"

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(214): View more from Texas

And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit

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(303): View more from Colorado

okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.

(785): View more from Kansas

again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.

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(914): View more from New York

He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.

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(907): View more from Alaska

When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.

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(+61): View more from Australia

Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.

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