dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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