Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
