last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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