Sponge bath it is.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
