You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
