You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
